Groyper Wars: The Thogdens

During last year whilst still trying to come to terms with the incessant uncertainty about life returning to some kind of normality absent of the closed cafes and lost work hours brought about by the Corona Virus, the Patriotic Talk Groyper Show came as a welcome respite. It was a guilty pleasure that took me back to my adolescence in the Midlands. My sister and I use to make prank calls to complete strangers. Armed with the telephone directory, it began with me and my childhood friend Wayne (all naughty boys were called Wayne back then), calling random people and saying things like “hello s@*! face”  before hurriedly hanging-up. My sister being older and having quite a mature speaking tone took it up a notch, though. She would call up people and tell them that British Gas was terminating their supply due to outstanding bills. Immature? Certainly. Wicked? perhaps – yes.

On the Groyper Show, too, they sometimes make prank calls. Charlie (big potatoes) comes into his own here, being able to pass as a Muslim just by speaking in broken English and dropping the occasional ‘brother’ now and then. With Chris and Natty giggling in the background, the humor is certainly reminiscent of those landline days, but, sinisterly, the innocence has been lost. Back then, it was still during an era where we were not living under a shadow of the politically-correct, authoritarian Left; and the Trojan Horse still wasn’t confident enough to show its face (see my article on Ash Sarkar). Thus, when the boys make prank calls or go onto streams it is amidst a cold reality where even the idea that we exist as a people is under siege –

– Anyhow, last year, I was watching the groypers stumbling upon the Thogdens’ football Youtube channel. The Thogdens are a Father-son combo where the former (Thogdad) indulges the latter’s (Theo) play-acting at football punditry. To be fair, Theo’s misplaced self-belief at being both amusing and alpha whilst Thogdad vicariously tries to recapture his youth through his son’s fantasy has a kind of family-sofa charm, which explains the channel’s popularity. Anyway, this was the show’s vibe until the groypers kicked the front door in that day. As the first super chats appeared on the screen, Thogdad read unwittingly about ‘replacement’, ‘The Battle for Europe’ and ’14’ until the references accumulatng in the chat did eventually act as smelling salts. By chance, Theo had just returned to the room at this point and picking up from where his still-dazed father had just read, informed his viewers that FC Kalergi was taking over Europe.

Based upon this naivety, it would have been easy to dismiss the Thogdens for the couple of muppets they are. Theo a man-child sipping his mother’s tea whilst his dad inexplicably reviews the most commercial, mass-produced lagers like some 12-year-old tasting beer for the first time. However, Thogden the younger does not lack self-confidence if nothing else. As I pointed out, in my article Patriotic Talk, Natty utilizes his military background to strategize the groypers tactics when raiding streams; and in retaliation all the distraught hosts can do is: delete the groypers from the chat; not read out the super chats; or, in more extreme cases, delete the entire chat or even the stream itself! The only exception to this was Theo, who actually employed smart, countermeasures.

Still seething from the humiliation the groypers had dished out, Theo must have done a bit of research checking out the Patriotic Talk show, because he actually called out Natty specifically when the groypers next came a-knocking. This time he read out the groypers super chats but changed the content, as not to give our talking points life but still take the money. There was one chat in particular after changing what it actually said to something mundane about the football game in question, he paused smiled at the screen and said: “Thank you Natty.” It was a knowing smile of gaining the upper hand directed towards Natty, himself, whilst faining sincerity with his regular viewers. Natty alone being outflanked by this little f*@!*@ may have conceded defeat but Ginger Chris was having none of it. He subsequently got the groypers to open accounts in the Thogden’s name then raided the best part of the football stream community stating that Thogden had sent them.